DID YOU HEAR DID YOU HEAR ONE OF MY FAVORITE COUPLES EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE IS FINALLY HAVING A BABY. of course you heard, but i want you to know how much it means to me.
see? everyone is just so excited!
kate is adorable and i can’t wait for little willkate’s. they’re gonna have her gorgeous face and his…slightly balding hair. and when the first pictures come out everyone will be freaking out because OH MY GOD IT’S A BABY! even though in my opinion, all babies look the same. cute, but the same.
i want them to have a girl. do you know how well-dressed that kid would be? karl would be waiting in line to give clothes to her. even if it’s a boy he’ll still be superfashionable. i predict it will be a boy.
but i still want it to be a girl. they recently changed the laws and the first-born, boy or girl, can be king/queen. and it would be nice for a girl to inherit the throne.
i know you think it’s not relevant to me. but it is. because this kid and i? we’re gonna be friends. like bff kind of friends. like chasing ice cream trucks and building sand castles with each other kind of friends. oh, there’s an age difference you say? oh, there’s a distance problem? whatever, this has worked out before. i have a friend who lives in london and we’re supertight. for the sake of my case, we’re gonna pretend she is a princess also (because, y’know, connections and stuff).
any of you out there know will and/or kate? i didn’t think so. i don’t either, but i do know that their kid is gonna be rockin’. on a rocker, that is, but that kid will also have a cool uncle (hello, harry!) and an aunt whose name will sound cool (auntie pippa has a nice ring, right?). plus, we all know this kid will be friends with blue ivy, beyonce’s spawn.
and, duh, she’ll be a princess.
just like me.
see why we’ll be friends?